


Stars Die

by nick_i_kenicki



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Drama, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Gen, Pregnancy, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21567949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nick_i_kenicki/pseuds/nick_i_kenicki
Summary: Snapshots of moments in Esteban and Karen's lives together that led to their eventual separation.
Relationships: Esteban Diaz/Karen Reynolds
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Stars Die

She was the definition of a church girl. 

The first thing he noticed was her posture. Even though she had been standing at the entrance of the church all morning, she didn't slouch. It was like a ruler was holding her straight that started from the top of her head to the backs of her neat, black loafers. It was impressive.

Esteban was interested, curious about her and her parents. They knocked on his door every week to invite him to service. They made such a point of it that he basically had their whole spiel memorized. He was their perfect opportunity to add culture to the congregation, the perfect face for their poster to get other Mexican church goers. Esteban brushed them off and had never considered coming until the Reynolds mentioned their daughter's youth group.

Esteban agreed to visit just to see who the Reynold's daughter could possibly be.

He was surprised when they met.

Nothing about her was gaudy, but Esteban couldn't help but look. He noticed everything about her, like her nails and how they were filed into perfect ovals with clear polish. How the pencil skirt that landed in at just below her knees looked like it had been ironed that morning. The way her hair seemed like it couldn't quite decide on being blond or brown.

She was also beautiful in a way Esteban couldn't describe, akin to photographs taken during a natural disaster. He wasn't sure if it was the storm gray eyes or her cold smile. All he knew was that he was drawn to her. It was something powerful. He didn't let himself overthink it, he just let his legs bring him over to approach.

"Hi."

"Hola." 

A smile crept to Esteban's face. He tilted his head at her. "You speak Spanish?"

"About as well as you speak English," She teased. Her eyes lit up so much when she smiled that it was like the stoic church girl had literally melted away. Her eyes glittered like stars. "Anyways, my parents told me we were getting some new congregation members from down south, so I practiced." For the first time since he'd arrived, she broke her perfect stance and settled into the doorway.

Esteban mirrored her lean. "Down south, huh?" He swallowed the smirk nagging at the corner of his lips and shrugged. "Well, I'd say I'm from a little farther south than south, y'know?" He moved in a little closer.

Her eyes flashed with a quiet understanding. "Oh yeah? Maybe you can tell me about it sometime. In the meantime, my name is Karen Reynolds." She held out her hand.

Esteban looked her up and down, then took her hand in his. "Nice to meet you Karen Reynolds. I'm Esteban Diaz."

They didn't let go of each other's hands until the church bell that signaled the service letting out rang above them.

...

"This is your stone," Karen said, handing Esteban a tiny ruby. He rolled it over in his hands, admiring how it sparkled while Karen admired him. He could always tell when she was looking, especially when she thought he didn't see. He always subtly performed to her gaze. He always hoped he looked good.

Karen smiled at his profile then dug for something deeper in her bag. She pulled out another stone out. A glittering purple stone such a deep color that it was almost opaque. "This is my stone. It's an amethyst, which I think matches me," she said. Esteban grabbed for the stone to set next to his.

"And this," Karen went on after another moment of digging. She hummed when she found what she was looking for and held it up to the light. It was a triangular green jewel."–Is for the baby. It's a mini peridot." She handed the last gem to Esteban to put in his little line up. Karen watched him, then spoke again. "His due date is for August so he'll probably be strong-willed like me."

"He?" Esteban asked.

Karen rubbed her bump. She was towards the end of the second trimester so she felt a lot of movement. The kicking of little feet, rolling and stretching. It wasn't quite like how other mothers usually described it though. There wasn't that sense of euphoria she had been assured would come, but a weight. Like the baby was an anchor.

With a little difficulty, Karen pushed the thought far away and focused back on their conversation. "Yeah. What I'm going through is apparently the complete opposite of what my mom did so I'd say he's a boy." 

At least, she hoped it was a boy because while she knew she'd never go through with it, she often dreamed about leaving. And maybe it had something to do with the ugly leftovers of her conservative upbringing, but she knew she just couldn't see herself leaving a daughter. Like her parents said all during her childhood, a girl needed her mother but a boy could live without. 

At least, that's how she tried to rationalize it.

…

Esteban was afraid of everything at first. The baby was so little and he cried at the drop of a hat. All Karen could do was smile that little smile of hers and bat her eyes at the screaming infant in her arms. "I guess I was right. He is gonna be like me," she amended with a diplomatic nod.

Despite all the little comments beforehand, Claire and Stephen were in love with their grandson the moment they saw him. It was like the past two years of prying and interrogation suddenly didn't exist. Gone. Wiped clean from the chalkboard. All they could do was sing Karen's praises and revel at how beautiful the baby was.

Esteban tried not to hold grudges. It wasn't in his nature. However, he lost some of that reserve when Claire and Stephen elbowed their way into the naming process. For weeks he and Karen bad been calling him Eduardo, but the Reynolds had other ideas.

"It's a silly name Esteban!" Claire argued a few feet away from the hospital room. Karen was nursing the baby and was drowsy, so she couldn't contribute much to the discussion. Unfortunately, that made the Reynolds think they were in charge. Stephen was probably hanging back in the room to sell Karen on the name as they spoke.

"It's not silly, it's his culture. He's still going to be Mexican no matter what you two call him, " Esteban fired back. He didn't get mad, especially not at the Reynolds since he wanted to be a good son-in-law. However, the conversation was grating him.

Claire looked at him from over the rim of her glasses furrowed her brow. "Then take your own advice. He'll still be Mexican, so let us name him something more . . . appropriate. Please. We just want him to have an easy time when he grows up."

Esteban opened his mouth to argue, but realized it would never end. The argument would eventually, but the subject matter never would. They would always passive aggressively wish Karen could have married a nice American church boy. Have good American children and live happily ever after with a nice house surrounded by the perfect white picket fence. There was no winning so this was the best they could do to settle.

Esteban let a tight breath out of his nose. "You know what? Fine. You win." 

Claire smiled like she had won the lottery and hurried back into the room. Esteban shook his head and joined her. Karen had handed off the baby to Stephen and watched them dote with wistful eyes. When the baby realized he wasn't with his mother anymore, he opened his mouth and let out the loudest cry.

Sean Eduardo Diaz he was.

…

Karen liked Sean. Not necessarily being his mother, but him as a person. She liked how much he looked like Esteban but how different he was than the both of them. He was moody. Not like a toddler was, but like a person was. Despite Claire's guarantee that it was a phase he would grow out of, Karen knew it wasn't. He'd be a little firecracker. He was smart and played as hard as he argued.

Esteban wasn't an authoritarian and Karen couldn't see herself disciplining Sean the way her parents did her, so he had his run of the place. Her father constantly scolded them that if they spared the rod, they'd spoil the child. Esteban always told him that they were choosing to spare the child, in their case. Anyways, Sean wasn't spoiled because they didn't have enough money to spoil him. He was just the type to lead.

It was good that Sean was though, because between the three of them, somebody had to. Esteban was a softie and Karen was sad. She didn't know why, and it was hard to speak on it so she let Sean do all the talking. She spent all of her time with him and he filled up every quiet moment with childish chatter. 

While she didn't really get much out of the tucking in with kisses and post nightmare cuddles part of being a mom, she enjoyed the company Sean provided. He made sure it was never quiet and for a while, Karen was able to push the shadow looming over her away with the noise.

That is, until Karen realized she was pregnant again. 

It was like every dark emotion that haunted her during the first pregnancy came back in a wave. Shadowlike stitches were sewing her in place and tying her down so tight that she knew she'd never be able to get away. They were binding her to the same place and the same people forever. 

When she got the confirmation from the second and third test, she sat on the toilet and sobbed for two hours until Esteban got off of work. Sean sat outside the bathroom door and slipped little notes in for her to read while they waited. She didn't have the heart to read a single one.

...

Karen knew she wasn't supposed to say it, because no sane mother would ever think how she did, but she honestly didn't like Daniel.

Karen loved him because that was what a mother was supposed to do and feel, but she couldn't say she liked him. From the moment he was born, Daniel was everything Sean wasn't. It was like the rose colored glasses she wore before had been ripped off and she saw Daniel for what he was, a fussy, clingy, screaming baby that would need her forever. 

And the worst part is that he loved her so much. She couldn't go two steps without feeling little hands grasping for her or a little voice wanting Mama. 

Mama. Mama. Mama.

Always needy and huggy and cuddly. He was like a puppy on Christmas day when Karen had asked for a cat. Or rather, the gift of a puppy to a person who didn't even like pets. Someone who was quickly realizing that maybe she was allergic. 

So,the cool resolve hit her one day when she was dropping Daniel off at daycare. He kept crying at the door and couldn't be prompted to move. When asked what was wrong, he clarified that he didn't want to go in because he would miss his Mama.

It was hard to swallow for Karen. He was holding onto her crying and snotting into her shirt, clutching her so she couldn't leave. She realized that was how everyone had treated her, her whole life. Like she couldn't leave. 

The daycare caretakers thought it was adorable and noted how mama's boys were the sweetest. How it was so cute.

They also told her how even though some kids threw a tantrum almost every time their parents left, by the time lunchtime rolled around, they were fine. Sometimes, if their friends prompted them, they'd snap out of those tears even faster.

Their comments hit her like a revelation. The final straw. That was it.

He would be okay.

Daniel was still little enough to forget and move on. He'd be sad at first but she knew he would get over it like he always did. He had Esteban and Sean. Grandparents that loved him. He'd get over it. They both would. They all would. 

It was in that moment that Karen finally decided to leave.

…

Esteban didn't have the words to ask Karen to stay. He knew that if her children begging for her wasn't enough, then whatever he had to say wouldn't do it either. 

She kissed him on the forehead, then the cheeks, then the corners of his lips. She looked up at him and he looked down at her. They touched foreheads and when they parted her cheeks were wet with his tears.

"You don't have to go," Esteban pleaded in a tiny voice.

Karen wiped his tears from her face and looked over his shoulder back into the house. Sean was standing down the hall watching them. He was little but he wasn't so small that he wouldn't remember.

More than Esteban and Daniel's tears, that stony little face almost stopped her, but the world beyond the door was calling for her. Screaming for her to join it.

She looked away from Sean, touched Esteban's face then walked out the door into the soundless night. The black sky was empty and endless and as she drove away, the house looked less like a house and more like a tiny yellow star at the horizon. A lonely landmark and the singular point of contact. The northstar.

Karen knew all stars eventually died and knew that she wouldn't be back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Plesse let me know if I did these atruggles and this story justice.


End file.
